I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
