I don't think brook has ever known best
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
