Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
