I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Randomize
