Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
