On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
