am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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