I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
