a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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