in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
You can't just leave with hair like that
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize