Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
