thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Found the puke drawer
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize