i barfeds in our rink
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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