So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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