And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
So much Jack, so little girl.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
