im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Randomize
