Taylor Swift is so right about you.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
We were destined to go to rehab together
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
