just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
