Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
