I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
he thought i was a dude.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
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