no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
