her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
