Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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