So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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