Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize