Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
