can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize