She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
