Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize