Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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