Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
