I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
