proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I smell like Dick and happiness
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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