Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Holy sore nipples Batman
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
