Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
