His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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