She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Randomize