another moral hangover. fuck.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize