Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
