I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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