Define "chronic" masturbator.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Randomize
