youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
