I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
