Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
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