there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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