***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
