It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
You should frame my arrest warrant.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
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