Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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