do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I am in a vortex of obligation.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Randomize
