he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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