I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
barbara walters just said penis...
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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