it was like his penis was on wheels.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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