So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
