On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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