Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
