Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Randomize
