I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Someone signed my nipple.
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