After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Randomize
