The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
